Hey guys! I know it’s been a while I shared some things with you. I will try not to be missed for this long. At a better time I will share with you all that I have been up to, but today, I have decided to share some points on how to be a good listener.
When our work involves serving others irrespective of the field you are working in, it's important that we become good listeners. Being a good listener can be difficult at times. Here are some tips to help in becoming a good listener. Whether at work; with customers and colleagues or at home; with family and friends or anywhere we find ourselves.
- Stop Talking: One of the great paradoxes is that if you want to be known as a great conversationalist, you need to stop talking and let the other person say what's on his or her mind. It doesn’t matter if you know why the person reached out to you, just stay quiet and listen to the other party. It can get annoying if you realize you are not being listened to.
- Lose Distractions: These may include your own to-do list, plans for the weekend and extra distractions like cell phones and computers. Once you get to speak with someone, you need to give your maximum attention to the speaker. It can be disrespectful knowing that whoever you are speaking to is not paying attention or has a divided attention.
- Pretend there will be a Test: This point reminds me of my high school days. Whenever our teacher spoke he observed that some of us were looking into his eyes and listening with rapt attention, some of us did this because for some reason that was our only chance to remember the examples of the topic should it come into our exams. However, it is important to focus on what the other person is saying as tho there will be a test after the conversation.
- Keep an open mind: In my last few years in working and dealing more with customers, I seem to have noticed that people appreciate feedback even if they do not ask for it. Just as customers will be happy to give you an amazing feedback or review, you need to also appreciate their criticisms. They may not understand what it takes to pull off a fantastic service or experience. Remember customers will always ask for more. So it is your duty to keep your mind open to the possibility of new information and try not to let your personal believes close your mind of new ideas.
- Respond appropriately: I get very emotional when I am speaking to someone and the line is so dead on the other side. Like cold dead, lol When listening to conversations, use physical and verbal responses appropriately timed to show that you are listening, such as nodding your head, raising your eyebrow and saying things like “..Uh huh”, “...alright” or “..Oh”. These just give the speaker a sense of being heard. Listen to their words and tone of voice. These will give you a clue of how they feel especially for customers you don’t see face-to-face
- Let them Finish: A lot of people are eager to cut through conversations just because before the speaker begins to speak, they know the direction he or she is headed to. Avoid being frustrated. Be patient and cooperative. Let the other person finish what they are saying. Resist the temptation of jumping in with your response and don’t be in a hurry.
- Ask Questions: Oh my goodness, In the last few years I have learned the art of doing this so well and it has helped me a lot especially in my line of work. So let me digress a bit, I often go to help my mum at her shop and you will mostly get people coming through and shout “I will buy something(mostly said in our local dialect), you will need to follow up with a question; “What will you buy?”, the customer will mention the item, you will have to ask again “what size?”, he responds then you ask again “How many”? Sometimes we could go on and on and on. I bet this can be pretty annoying. What stops him from just saying “I will buy a box of toothpaste, I want the medium sized one” This is a lot more concise, isn’t it? For clarification purposes we need to ask questions but only when the other person is finished. Identify the customers needs by asking questions and concentrating on the answers. Most customers may either be frustrated or angry and will not be precise with their issues. It is important that you do not make assumptions but rather ask questions to know specifically what the problem is or what they need.
- Repeat back what the other person said: I think I learned this from my eldest brother; Godwin. He will double and triple confirm something you have discussed just to be sure, which I think he over does but i seem to understand him to some extent. Lol. You know you can say things like, “I just wanna be sure i understand you so please let me repeat back what you just said." Then repeat back what they just said and ask “Is that correct?’. This is just to put you on the safer side to understand what you have been told. Now, this avoids the back and forth. In the first contact, try to take as many information as you will need.
- Allow Natural Pauses: Whenever there is a silence or a pause in a conversation it does not necessarily mean that you have to jump in and speak right away. I can understand that when the pauses are very long, they can affect communication negatively but they can also have a positive effect if they are not too long. Sometimes you are better off allowing silence while you process the information being relayed.These natural pauses are allowed for clarification purposes
- Watch for Non-verbals: Non-Verbals are what you should look out for especially when you see or do not see the speaker. However, in instances where you don't be sensitive to the non-verbal cues such as body language, tone of voice and facial expressions
When you do speak, ask open-ended questions and let the other person finish their thoughts. No one ever learned much from talking but there is a wealth of information waiting for the patient listener. I will be standing by for your feedback and don’t forget I will be looking forward to your thoughts and suggestions.
Your Truly,
Ese😘
